It’s difficult to imagine Batman without Robin, Sherlock
without Holmes, and Scooby without Doo… Yet
the loss of your significant other may have left you feeling like a superhero
with no sidekick. After all, a break up is something that was reserved for
“other people” until it knocked on your front door. At some point in time, we
all have experienced the emotional pain, disappointment and sense of loss
caused by a break up. And if you haven’t, keep on living; you’ll get your
chance! It’s inevitable. As long as you choose to romantically engage another
human being you will eventually be told (or end up telling} someone to kick
rocks. At first, you may feel you can’t survive without the familiar support
and comfort of your ex lover, but you can! Reaching the fork in the road
doesn’t have to leave you stranded on the “highway of love “. Following these
three suggestions will work wonders in helping you get back on your feet in no
time.
Step one: CRY. In a situation like this, it’s okay to be a
big baby. Tears cleanse the soul. The tendency to internalize your frustration only
lengthens the recovery process. It happened. He or she is gone and it HURTS!
Take as much time as you need to embrace this reality. Moving forward too
quickly could cause you to carry excessive baggage into your next relationship.
It’s never a good idea to make someone pay for another person’s mistakes. It
may seem callow, but it works. So, forgive yourself. Have “one last cry” and leave it there.
Step Two: Rediscover
your identity. It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship. Often
times we were so preoccupied with the other person that we lost sight on our
own uniqueness. If we will be honest, most of us could admit to initially
adding or subtracting significant portions of our personality to appease the
object of our affection. Now that we are single, we may find ourselves in a
stupor. We often can’t think past the
other person as to what it took to make us happy. When we were in a
relationship we were happily engaged in the task of “molding” our partner into
the shape we wanted them to be in. It never really dawned on us that, in the
process, we were being molded, by them, as well. Reconnect with your
individuality; get back to being you.
Step Three: Date. Enjoy your independence. Don’t get too serious with anyone too
quickly. Know, in advance, that you may get hurt again, but living to avoid
rejection is no life at all. Every relationship brings the possibility of pain,
but we cannot live a life of fear. You deserve another chance. There is a world
of people out there anxious to meet you! Why not give them the pleasure of
making your acquaintance today?
There are many other methods that may be
employed on your road towards redemption; I have outlined only a few. No matter
what steps you personally decide to apply, the most important thing is that you
keep moving forward. Keep the faith, you will become a Dynamic Duo again and
eventually unite with your Peaches or Herb, your Hall or Oates, your Super or
Man...
By: Dr. Mytou
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