Why People Are Jealous

Let me establish the small print up front. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That being said, let's go... 
A lot of pain could have been avoided if we had been assigned a date number at birth. This simple courtesy would have eliminated at least fifty percent of dating disasters worldwide. What is a dating number and how would it have changed the outcome of history? Well, let's assume that when a person is born, he had a number six stamped on his forehead. That would be his "date number". On a scale of one to ten, ten being most physically attractive, this person would be considered just above average. If this person wanted to have a healthy self-esteem for the rest of his natural life, he should always consider dating at least his date number or below. He may meet slight resistance if he dated another six, but would experience bliss if he dated a two or three. If, on the other hand, he went out on a limb and snagged an eight, he would always be on edge and in fear of losing her to a rival with a higher date number than his. This lack of self-esteem and insecurity would wreak havoc on the relationship because he isn't used to dating eights and would feel he was lucky to win her affections. All of a sudden he's pulling out the credit card and sending her on shopping sprees or anything else he can think of to prove his worth. He wants to know her whereabouts at all times and the thought of her interacting with someone with a higher date number than his almost kills him. She has lost her freedom and he has lost his peace of mind. Eventually, the eight secretly desires a nine or ten but is stuck with a six that is driving her crazy, because in reality, he should be with a three or four. All of this stress and unhappiness could have been avoided if they had simply stuck to their numbers from the beginning.
Tip for the day: Look in the mirror, then go get someone who matches.