Men Are Like A Box Of Crayons. Pick one.

My benefactress, an heiress to a major Hotel chain, and I were welcomed onboard the Prime Minister's Yacht by a tall man in a white tuxedo. As we checked our coats and entered the living quarters, an interesting conversation was underway. The debate centered around the fundamental differences between the genders. I was amused as I listened to societies elite argue about the complications of romantic love. Naturally, I was tuning into what the women were saying as they voiced their frustrations. Back and forth the battle raged on.
"The usual, sir?" asked a familiar waiter as my companion and I took a seat among the group.
"Yes, please. And bring a glass for the lady."
"Very well." he said in a distinct British accent.
My desire was to remain inconspicuous and enjoy the proceedings, but suddenly the
Prime Minister's wife noticed my presence and immediately dragged me into the discussion.
"Ah, Vincent, it's so nice for you to join us! Maybe you could offer insight on why men insist on making things difficult? If only they would pay more attention to detail, things would be so much easier."
I looked around, all eyes were on me.
"Easier for who?..." I thought as I twirled my wine in its glass. I sipped, took a deep breath and proceeded.
"Men do not see the color Chartreuse."
"Pardon me?  said the wife. "We were discussing relationships. I fail to see how a color pertains to the topic at hand."
"I understand. Allow me a moment to clarify." I retorted.
"You originally stated that men did not pay much attention to details, correct?"
She nodded her head in agreement.
"Well, that's where you are wrong. If the small details of a relationship were represented by colors. Men would see red, blue, purple, green, or yellow. These colors represent logical simplicity. Men paint their worlds and describe their emotions through basic primary colors.  Women want us to visualize emotional colors like fuchsia, maroon, teal, magenta, aqua or salmon. Those are the complex color combinations that shade the landscape of a woman's existence. Most men are not being difficult on purpose, they are just wired differently. In a nutshell, men are relatively simple. You want us to be a lot more complex than we really are."
"That's a very interesting analogy. You've just likened men to a basic box of crayons."
"Basically."
"No wonder you all behave like children. she laughed. "It cannot be that easy." she huffed in mock exasperation.
"Only because you choose to make it difficult."
Point To Ponder: Focus more on the color, not the shade.

He's your man, not your child!

All over the building dozens of soft, well manicured hands were raised in the air.
"One question at a time, please." I said to the anxious throng of women.
"Why do men guard their cell phones like it's the cure for cancer?" said one.
"Mine never puts his down. He even takes it into the bathroom." said another.
Inwardly, I laughed as I sipped my vintage 1945 Mouton-Rothschild
 and mentally pressed the Easy button.
"Would the majority of you report similar incidents with your significant others?" I asked.
The resounding "yes" filled the auditorium.
"The answer is simple. Its none of your business and he doesn't want you snooping through his stuff."
I ducked the imaginary hand as the entire female audience attempted to slap me.
"If he's my man, it is my business!' someone yelled on the front row.
"You tell him, girlfriend!" rained down from the balcony.
The level of estrogen was filled to the rim and running over. I raised my hand and immediately the cacophony fell silent.
"He is your man not your child. Commitment doesn't mean containment."
"If he doesn't have anything to hide he should be able to leave his phone with me."
I decided to pose a revealing question to my assembly.
"By show of hands, if your partner left his phone with you for a few hours, how many of you beautiful, independent, successful, intelligent women would rummage through it?"
Three quarters of the room lifted their arm.... GOTCHA!
"When you surrender to the temptation to snoop, you have just announced your insecurity to the universe and it will faithfully give you your desire. You cannot control what he does, just be the best you, at all times, and watch things start to fall into place."
While the audience was contemplating my statement, the stage went black and my chair slowly started its descend beneath the platform.
"Hopefully someone benefitted from that." I said to my driver as we walked down the backstage corridor towards the awaiting limousine.
"Someone always does, sir. Where to next?" she asked while looking at me through the rearview mirror.
"To the airport...I have to be in Maui early tomorrow morning."
I loosened my silk necktie and leaned back into the soft leather seat.
"Very well, sir."
We pulled away from the curb and drove off into the moonlight.
Point to Ponder: No trust, no relationship. leave the snooping to the professionals.

Are you his "Sloppy Second"?

This is not a typical Vincent Love post:

Have you ever given your all to a man? Depleted your hard earned resources, sacrificed your valuable time to help him realize his goal, hoping that when he succeeded, you would be there, by his side, to enjoy the fruit of your combined labor, only to realize that once he made it to the top he kicked you to the curb? What happened?  Why would he use you like that?  "Um, why shouldn't he?" The truth is, ladies, a lot of times you follow your emotions down the mystical path of MAYbelieve. "Maybe he wants to build a future with me." or "Maybe he'll notice how smart I am." or  "Maybe he will help me realize some of my goals after I help him attain his." You never once logically consider, "Maybe he won't."

Hard Truth: If you are NOT married, you're single... PERIOD.
I know he's your "boo", but in what language does boo translate husband?
A lot of relationships mirror marriage without the rings. (By the way, a man will give you a ring to appease you without ever having any true intentions of marrying you.) Men pursue valuable things. We will chase a woman we deem worthy to the end of the earth as long as she keeps running, but the moment we catch her and she trades in the Reebok's for houseslippers, it's a wrap. You must always present a target that's just beyond our reach in order to maintain our interest. Whenever we get your ALL outside of marriage there is nothing to look forward to. We grow weary of watching you jog in place and before you know it, we're on to the next one.

Point To Ponder: If you want to be selected instead of rejected, assist him in moderation, but reserve your best for after the vows.

Shallow and Single...

If beauty is skin deep and ugly to the bone, then there are a lot of skeletons walking around. The sooner you admit to yourself that your lover is ugly, the easier life will become for you.  There will no longer be a need to squint at your partner when looking them in the eyes. I know the harsh reality. To imagine your loving, hardworking, devoted and intelligent life partner mercilessly beaten by the ugly stick is beyond comprehension, but look at him. There's no denying it happened. Well, what are you going to do? I have a regular client who looks like she chews cactus, but she is one of the sweetest women in the world. Every time she calls to schedule an appointment with me, my insides ball up like aluminum foil. (It's amazing, though, what a net worth of fifteen million dollars can negotiate.) In spite of it all, we always manage to have a great time. I imagine that some of you can relate to my predicament. Inner substance over outer beauty should be our preference, but I'm just not there yet. If only she were a charming cloud of smoke floating around in midair she'd be perfect! If only I weren't so shallow. Oh, well,  I'm not. I guess some of us are just destined to grow old alone.
Point To Ponder: The  grass is green on your side, you just have to wear shades to look at it.

Don't Build a Bear

This is not a typical Vincent Loves post:


"You are much too beautiful to be drinking alone, much less shedding tears". I said to the woman at the bar as I handed her my silk handkerchief. "May I be of some assistance?"
"I don't know." she said as she wiped away the tears. "I just don't see how he could do this to me after all I've done for him."
I sat down beside her and ordered a glass of wine as she began to recount her tale:
"When I first met Michael he was in a bad way. He was broke and disheartened, but he had a wonderful mind and so much to offer. All he needed was for someone to believe in him and help him realize his potential. After a few months of dating I set about the business of upgrading him. I bought him some nice business suits and shoes, a few bottles of expensive cologne and even threw in a little cosmetic dentistry. I introduced him to a few of my business contacts and within a few months time he was generating leads and sealing deals on his own. In less than a year he was well on his way towards a six figure income.
"Let me guess, he suddenly wanted out of the relationship?" I said.
"Yes, and I was his biggest supporter! How dare he do this to me!"
Giving her my opinion wasn't going to be easy, but I took a sip of my wine and proceeded.
"What you did, my dear, was "Build a Bear"
When you first found your man, he was  not too impressive. An empty shell. You believed, though, that he had the potential to be so much more if he were only "stuffed" with positive things like encouragement, cologne, expensive suits and shoes... you were building a bear... Your intentions were noble, just misplaced"
" I just thought I was helping a man who would reciprocate when he got on his feet."
"Yes, but what you actually did was empower a man to regain his swagger and suddenly realize you weren't good enough for him anymore. Money and options are inseparable. The actions you took should be reserved for a husband only."
"I bet I never make that mistake again!" she said.
"I needed to hear that. You must be a therapist.How much do I owe you?
"This one's on me." I said as I paid our tab and walked away.
Sometimes gifts of charity are good for the soul.
Tip for the Day: Don't build a bear, find someone and build a life.

How to get more SEX...

Bountiful sex usually signifies the beginning of a new relationship. Ironically, the lack of it, most often, predicts its demise. It amazes me how three letter words (like gun or sex) carry so much power. I should know because I carry both. When a woman has a new man its almost impossible to steal her attention, but be patient. Let the relationship drag on for a few months and if you are astute and on your game, you will be able to peep a few cracks. That's your opportunity. Seize your moment! Its at this point where she will be open to a few encouraging words or gestures of appreciation. Buy her nothing, but offer her everything in the form of a listening ear. Play your cards right and the sex with her "boring man at home" will begin to decrease as thoughts of possible intimacy with you begin to form in her head.
Remember the rule: HE WHO GETS THE TIME, GETS THE GIRL.

Why People Are Jealous

Let me establish the small print up front. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That being said, let's go... 
A lot of pain could have been avoided if we had been assigned a date number at birth. This simple courtesy would have eliminated at least fifty percent of dating disasters worldwide. What is a dating number and how would it have changed the outcome of history? Well, let's assume that when a person is born, he had a number six stamped on his forehead. That would be his "date number". On a scale of one to ten, ten being most physically attractive, this person would be considered just above average. If this person wanted to have a healthy self-esteem for the rest of his natural life, he should always consider dating at least his date number or below. He may meet slight resistance if he dated another six, but would experience bliss if he dated a two or three. If, on the other hand, he went out on a limb and snagged an eight, he would always be on edge and in fear of losing her to a rival with a higher date number than his. This lack of self-esteem and insecurity would wreak havoc on the relationship because he isn't used to dating eights and would feel he was lucky to win her affections. All of a sudden he's pulling out the credit card and sending her on shopping sprees or anything else he can think of to prove his worth. He wants to know her whereabouts at all times and the thought of her interacting with someone with a higher date number than his almost kills him. She has lost her freedom and he has lost his peace of mind. Eventually, the eight secretly desires a nine or ten but is stuck with a six that is driving her crazy, because in reality, he should be with a three or four. All of this stress and unhappiness could have been avoided if they had simply stuck to their numbers from the beginning.
Tip for the day: Look in the mirror, then go get someone who matches.

1+1= Eleven (change your mindset)

I was vacationing at my beachfront villa sipping a glass of Moscato when I received a phone call.
"Do you have a few minutes?" she inquired.
"A few..." I replied.
This woman was in a relationship with the man of her dreams. Even though he was ALL THAT she was still experiencing major irritation.
"I believe in giving 50/50 to a relationship and so does he, but no matter how much we give, it doesn't seem to be enough."
This one was easy.
 "The problem is your relationship is at half capacity." I said.
"A lot of people believe 50/50 is a whole, but in a relationship, its only half."
There was silence on the other end of the phone, so I continued.
"Successful relationships require 200%. Both parties must give 100% each. 50% participation creates an opening for distractions."
"Wow, intriguing concept. I've never heard that before... How can I ever repay you?"
"Cash will be fine, I have your card on file." I said as I closed my phone. Another day another dollar.

Remember the rule: Its hard to win if you're only half in.

Warning, Do you suffer from Begonitis?

There are certain patterns of behavior that expose discontent in a relationship. I look for symptoms and patterns of vulnerability such as a glance that lasted a second too long or that subtle flirtatious gesture. These are warning signs and indicators that divulge weakness and dissatisfaction with their current partner. They are at a crossroad in their relationship. I have coined the behavior "Begonitis". Simply put in layman's terms: Loser, be gone! Sufferers of begonitis have lost the fire that once burned deep in their loins for their mate. The cute way he used to hog all the cover and slobber all over the pillows or the way she rubs her rough, dry feet against your legs before she falls asleep now get on your last nerve. You constantly envision them getting eaten by a wild lion or falling off a steep cliff. Poof, be gone. Fortunately, there is a remedy for this malady. Its called maturity. A strong dose of maturity allows one to realize its not all about us all the time. We just might not be as perfect as we think we are. If you truly desire to be with the one you're with, I suggest you swallow a couple tablespoons today. If you don't, someone like me is right around the corner.
Tip for today: Remember what attracted you in the first place and go back there.

Female Expiration Dates...

"It's like he's being difficult on purpose," the masseuse said while applying a few squirts of oil into her palm. "We used to get along so well, but now we fight about everything. It seems like we are growing farther apart each day."
Now there is a time and a place for everything, and at the moment, it was my time to relax. But never being one to resist a damsel in distress, or the money attached to her, I allowed the intrusion.
"How long have you been together?" I asked.
"Two years."
I leaned up on my elbows and looked her dead in the eyes. "You are one year past your expiration date."
"One year past my what? It takes time to really get to know a person."
"It sure does, and your time has expired." My response obviously caught her attention because she stopped rubbing my calve mid-stroke.
"Explain." she said.
"Well, all things perishable have an expiration date. Humans are perishable, why wouldn't that apply to us? The 'it takes a lot of time' excuse only applies to people who still want to keep their options open. When a man knows who he is and what he wants, he will know within three months if you are marriage material. Within six months he will have shut all other options down, and could very well exchange vows and put a ring on it within a year. Anything much longer than that usually means he is exercising other interests."
 "So you're saying he's looking to replace me?"
"If the right player comes along, yes."

Judging by the way she snatched up her cell phone and stormed out of the room cursing, I assumed this massage session was over. Well, at least I got forty-five minutes for free.

Truth for the day: If the fighting is steadily increasing, your relationship is on life support.

Are You A Swag Jacker?

Innovators are in danger of a relentless predator. It's the elusive, but ever present Swag Jacker. A swag jacker and a Hater are similar in context, but there is one major difference. Haters just HATE. They WISH they had your achievements. They WILL stab you in the back and talk about you like a wet dog, but it usually stops there. Not so with the Swag jacker. Swag jackers actually try to BE you. They steal pieces of your style and personality and try to make it their own. It usually starts with their wardrobe and spirals from there. A tell tale sign of a swag jacker is the staggering fact that they appear unnatural and forced, as if they are trying too hard. Next thing you know you have a Mini-me running around ransacking your hustle. The bottom line is that many "would-be" Professional Men of Pleasure have been forever spit out of the game, never to recover, due to the swag jacking epidemic. It's time we professionals stand in unity against this evil horde and reclaim the game. Would be Swag Jacker, you have officially been put on notice. Either create or cremate because you don't want to mess around one night and run into a pair of polished Italian leather loafers in a dark alley.

The Divide and Conquer Stategy...

Recently, at one of my seminars ---
I argued, I mean debated, with a rather irate woman about the "Divide and Conquer" strategy. After I loosed her from a FULL NELSON head lock, I explained (to her) that men have a foolproof plan that will cancel out and defeat all encountered resistance... regardless of a woman's educational background or socio-economic status.
Rule: He GETS THE TIME -- GETS THE GIRL.
It's a fact that woman spend time with men they find interesting, challenging, funny and/or powerful. The fact that you (women) are spending your valuable time in a man's presence accounts for something. Men know that if we can peel you away from your single male bashing friends and slowly lure you away from the competition (the other testosterone driven males chasing you down), we will indefinitely capture your undivided attention and eventually possess your heart.
HARD TRUTH: A large majority of women cannot forever override the hardware program that nature has placed in them. Women are EMOTIONAL creatures who naturally nurture and men know how to manipulate women.
ON A SOFTER NOTE: I have met a few women in my time who played the game well.
END RESULT: They messed around and let their guard down... and got sprung.

Today's lesson: If you want to stay safe... stay in a group!

Male communication styles

Men basically have two basic communication styles. Reactor or Responder. It's important to notice the different images each word projects. When we hear the word reaction we think fast, violent, destructive, hurried and unplanned as in Nuclear Reactor or Chemical reaction. Reactors are hell raisers who constantly have a warm serving of drama simmering beneath the surface. They speak before thinking, are excessively loud, prefer to argue and are prone to threats. When given a choice they will usually see the negative side and often view life as half empty. Now, contrast that with the word response. Response implies patience, competence, wisdom, graciousness, well thought out and planned actions, as in Medical Response Unit. As a matter of fact, the word responsible has response as its core. The most successful relationships usually involve at least one responder. Responders prefer peace over chaos and effective communication instead of arguing. They listen and process information before giving an answer and will not usually be lulled into an argument. Relationships that have a reactor at the helm are the easiest ones to infiltrate because reactors are abusive. If you remain patient and available, the reactor will eventually push their partner out the house and into your awaiting arms.