The 3i Principle for Healthy Relationships

I apologize for my brief hiatus, I just needed a vacation. As I lay in my hammock swinging back and forth enjoying the cool Caribbean breeze, I relished the thought of traveling abroad unencumbered by the strains of a nagging companion. I was in the moment, unknown to the world and enjoying every second of it.
"Vincent! Omg! what are you doing here?"
"Damn..."
I knew that voice. I disguised my irritation as I raised to my elbows and squinted against the sun.
"Just trying to relax." I said. It's been a while. How is your son?"
"Growing like a weed. He's almost two."
"Wow. And the S.O. (significant other)?"
"He's cool." she said while drawing a figure eight in the sand with her toes.
Being the astute professional I am, I immediately picked up on her unspoken dismay.
"Talk." I said.
She continued her drawing as if she hadn't heard me.
It was obvious she was having a moment, but time was money and I was off the clock so...
"Lindsay, It was nice seeing you again, but I..."
"He's a jerk! she finally said. Her anger was undeniable.
"From the very beginning he pushed himself on me!"
Sigh, I was stuck. The only thing I could do was play this thing out.
"Excuse me." I said to the attendant as she passed in front of me.
"I will  have two Saratogas, one with a slice of cucumber."
"Certainly, Mr. Love."
As we waited for our spring water, Lindsay ranted on about how helpless and distant she felt towards her mate. It instantly dawned on me that she was totally unaware if the 3i principle.
"The three principles? she innocently asked. "Who are they?"
I smiled as I began my explanation...

The 3i principle:
Imagine your partner going to the park looking to play ball."
"Okaaaay..." she said looking somewhat puzzled.
"He has all of his equipment and is eager to play." I continued.
"You noticed him approaching the fence(when you first met him), but as far as you were concerned, he was an "intruder" so you ignored him."
"Ignored? Hell, no! I would have called the police!" she blurted.
"Lindsay..."
"I'm sorry, Vincent. Go on."
"Thank you... Now, instead of leaving he stays, eventually making his way from behind the fence and onto the field. You "included" him in the game when you accepted his first date. You didn't readily appoint him Captain, but you did like the way he played the game. After a few victories, you completely turned over the play book and allowed him to meet your son. Your lives had become "infused" with one another's and he was elected a permanent member of the team. If it did not flow in that order, then it was out of order". I concluded.
"That doesn't sound anything like what happened over here!" she lamented.
Our conversation was interrupted by the soft chirp of her cell phone. It was her sitter announcing an issue with her child. Apparently he'd confused the  bar of hotel soap with a piece of candy.
"That boy will eat anything! she said over her shoulder as she hurried along the sand. "Maybe I will see you later this evening!"
I pulled my shades over my eyes and leaned back into my hammock.
"Not if I see you first." I thought.