W.I.F.M

The sound of classic R&B greeted me as I opened the front door. I love Old School. It's nice to finally be home. "This is such an impractical color." I thought to myself as I slipped off my Italian loafers and into the plush Bally slippers I kept in the foyer. This routine was a royal pain, but I didn't want to risk staining the carpet. Alpaca is expensive enough, but white Alpaca is practically priceless. I moved through the formal sitting area past the dining room and into the kitchen, removing clothing along the way. I poured a glass of wine, made a bowl of fresh fruit and cashews, and retreated to my favorite recliner in the den. The last few hours had been rather hectic as I ducked and dodged the paparazzi in their futile attempts to photograph me. As these "Confessions of a Gigolo" posts grow in popularity, the risk of my discovery increases. As I sat in my chair, I began to evaluate myself. Why do I do what I do? The initial response would be the insane amount of money I collect for my services, but that's only the surface. Am I really that shallow?

Four letters came to mind as I probed deeper for the root cause. WIFM. Most of us tune into these call letters, some more than others, but we are all guilty of listening every now and again. WIFM checks our motives...it measures our character. Often times it displays our selfishness. Could this particular frequency be a major cause of relationship dysfunction? Whenever a person tries to manipulate or control the actions of others, they are tuning into this station. If you have ever said, "This is me, like it or not." or "It's my way or the highway, " you are a frequent listener and are probably single while reading this post. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Jennifer.

"I'm sorry about earlier, she said. "But ever since I got my divorce from ****, the media has been all over me."

"No problem, it comes with the territory," I answered.

"Are you sleepy? I will pay you three thousand dollars to come see me." she teased.

"How about I charge you ten thousand to come over here?" I countered.

"It's a deal! I'm getting in the car right now, see you in a few."

WIFM (What's In it For Me?) The money... I guess I am that shallow.